I was in Harlem about a year ago getting my hair braided by one of the hundreds of African hairbraiders you see all the time hanging out on the corner chasing sistas down the street with business cards in their hands saying, “you want braid? I give you good price”. I always felt I was getting a bargain when I go to these shops because they do a pretty good job ,they are very fast, and you can barter with them on the price and get a great deal and a new look in a matter of hours. I was sitting down in my chair and talking to one of the patrons in ths shop who was getting her bun re-attached to her head and one of the African hair braiders said to me in broken English…”I like the way you talk, you speak nice, you don’t speak Harlem English“. The room fell silent, and every black woman in the room zoomed in on me and I felt like I was back in high school. She basically was saying “you speak good English not ghetto Ebonics like everyone else in Harlem”. I wanted to die, but I remembered thinking, what a great name for a blog…..
See, I’m not the typical negative stereotype of a what a black woman is supposed to be according to ignorant whites and simple minded blacks who assume you have to be one way, like one kind of music, and live in one kind of neighborhood. I don’t speak in Ebonics, I’m educated, polite, and very laid back, with no children (yet). I grew up in an inter-racially mixed family and although I am very proud to be a black woman I am not one to limit myself or my experiences in life. I listen to and love all types of music..hip-hop of course, old school rap, r&b, pop, hard rock, classic rock, new wave, new age, trip-hop, dance, classical, opera, zydeco, just about anything that’s clever, and real.
All throughout elementary, junior high, and high school I studied music theory and played the cello. I moved to the south from New York when I was young and I experienced true racism for the very first time. Going to an all white school wasn’t something I dreaded, but there wasn’t a day I wasn’t reminded just how screwed up it is to be the only black in a school full of white southern teenagers. Even for the 90’s in was still pretty crappy. I experienced bullshit from both whites and blacks , the whites would be in awe when they realized I was smart and actually knew things. They would say shady comments straight to my face, in a weak attempt to compliment me..things like..”Oh, wow, your really smart for a black person” or, “your the smartest black person I ever met”. it was painful when you realize that your so called friends are nothing but ignorant rednecks that have a surprisingly low opinion of you, no matter how cool I was, just because I was black. Little did I know then, that these horrible experiences would help mold me into stronger, bolder, more aware human being.
Black people in general had no real beef with me, except for the way I spoke and the fact that I traveled and had interest outside of making babies and boyfriends. Oh yeah, and a small few amount of sista’s had issues with my light skin and curly hair but nothing I couldn’t handle. Some, black people not all, but again, mostly in the south would say, “why do you talk that way?” or “you sound weird” , or this one… ”you sound white, talk like us”. I never felt that those who chose to speak in Ebonics where less than me, and I never walked around acting above anyone. I just spoke that way because that’s how I was raised, and I could see the immediate difference in how a person is perceived just by the way they speak. The same goes for whites who speak with a slow , southern drawl, as opposed to a west or east coaster with a typical standard white American accent. You can be a rocket scientist but if you have a deep slow southern drawl you most likely will sound like an inbred or hillbilly.
I’ve always had my own, humorous approach to life, celebrity, dating, charity, music, education, beauty, travel and politics so I decided to start a blog about those very things and whatever else jumps into my head. Straight talk, real talk is what I have always been about. Some of my views may offend certain people, and when I speak , it will be frankly to any race including my own. I will say what most white people wish they could and most black people will never admit too and vice versa. I’m not tacky, and not looking to hurt anyone, just speak my mind. Enjoy my hot new blog.
Stacy Dee
